Susanna Kaysen quotes - page 2
"A writer,” I said, when my social worker asked me what I planned to do when I got out of the hospital. "I'm going to be a writer.” "That's a nice hobby, but how are you going to earn a living?” My social worker and I did not like each other. I didn't like her because she didn't understand that this was me, and I was going to be a writer; I was not going to type term bills or sell au gratin bowls or do any other stupid things.
Susanna Kaysen
Every few months Torrey's parents flew from Mexico to Boston to harangue her. She was crazy, she had driven them crazy, she was malingering, they couldn't afford it, and so forth. After they left Torrey would give a report in her tired drawl. "Then Mom said, ‘You made me into an alcoholic,' and then Dad said, ‘I'm going to see you never get out of this place,' and then they sort of switched and Mom said, ‘You're nothing but a junkie,' and Dad said, ‘I'm not going to pay for you to take it easy in here while we suffer.' ” "Why do you see them?” Georgina asked. "Oh,” said Torrey. "It's how they show their love,” said Lisa. Her parents never made contact with her. The nurses agreed with Lisa. They told Torrey she was mature for agreeing to see her parents when she knew they were going to confuse her. Confuse was the nurses' word for abuse.
Susanna Kaysen
Most of us saw our therapists every day. Cynthia didn't; she had therapy twice a week and shock therapy once a week. And Lisa didn't go to therapy. She had a therapist, but he used her hour to take a nap. If she was extremely bored, she'd demand to be taken to his office, where she'd find him snoozing in his chair. "Gotcha!” she'd say. Then she'd come back to the ward. The rest of us traipsed off day after day to exhume the past.
Susanna Kaysen
The world didn't stop because we weren't in it anymore; far from it. Night after night tiny bodies fell to the ground on our TV screen: black people, young people, Vietnamese people, poor people-some dead, some only bashed up for the moment. There were always more of them to replace the fallen and join them the next night. Then came the period when people we knew-not knew personally, but knew of-started falling to the ground: Martin Luther King, Robert Kennedy. Was that more alarming? Lisa said it was natural. "They gotta kill them,” she explained. "Otherwise it'll never settle down.”.
Susanna Kaysen
I got better and Daisy didn't and I can't explain why. Maybe I was just flirting with madness the way I flirted with my teachers and classmates. I wasn't convinced I was crazy, though I feared I was. Some people say that having any conscious opinion on the matter is a mark of sanity, but I'm not sure that's true. I still think about it. I'll always have to think about it.
Susanna Kaysen
Is this the type of friend or lover I want to have? I ask myself every time I meet someone new. Charming but shallow; good-hearted but a bit conventional; too handsome for his own good; fascinating but probably unreliable; and so forth. I guess I've had my share of unreliables. More than my share? How many would constitute more than my share?
Susanna Kaysen
Borderline Personality Disorder* An essential feature of this disorder is a pervasive pattern of instability of self-image, interpersonal relationships, and mood, beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts. A marked and persistent identity disturbance is almost invariably present. This is often pervasive, and is manifested by uncertainty about several life issues, such as self-image, sexual orientation, long-term goals or career choice, types of friends or lovers to have, and which values to adopt.
Susanna Kaysen
Often an entire family is crazy, but since an entire family can't go into the hospital, one person is designated as crazy and goes inside. Then, depending on how the rest of the family is feeling, that person is kept inside or snatched out, to prove something about the family's mental health.
Susanna Kaysen
