Donald Barthelme quotes - page 3
The ultimate meaning of the angry young man is not known. What is known is the shape of his greatest fear-that all of his efforts, from learning to speak to learning to write, to write well, to write badly, to write angrily, from learning to despise to learning to abominate, to abominate well, to abominate badly, to abominate abominably, to rant, to fulminate, to shout down the sea, to age, to age graefully, to age awkwardly, to age at all, to think, to regret, to list himself in the newspapers under "Lost and Found”, might culminate precisely in this: a roaring, raging, crazy mad passionate bibliography.
Donald Barthelme
"Is that true," I asked, "that song?"
"It is a metaphor," said Mrs. Davis, "it has metaphorical truth."
"And the end of the mechanical age," I said, "is that a metaphor?"
"The end of the mechanical age," said Mrs. Davis, "is in my judgment an actuality straining to become a metaphor. One must wish it luck, I suppose. One must cheer it on. Intellectual rigor demands that we give these damned metaphors every chance, even if they are inimical to personal well-being and comfort. We have a duty to understand everything, whether we like it or not–a duty I would scant if I could." At that moment the water jumped into the boat and sank us.
Donald Barthelme
A t that moment, a Colonel of Sanitation came striding by, in his green uniform. "You there!” he cried. "Ho, dragon, stop and patter for a bit. Quickly, quickly-haven't got all day! There are Mr. Goodbar wrappers in the streets still, after all my efforts, and the efforts of my men, day in day out-people, people, if we could just do something about the people, then perhaps an end to the endlessness. One could go home of a Friday night, and wipe the brow, and doff the uniform, and thank God for a day well squandered. But you-you have a strange aspect. What kind of a thing are you? Are you disposable? Biodegradable? Ordinary citizen out for a stroll? Looking for work? Member of a conspiracy? Vegetable? Mineral? Two-valued? Hostile to the national interest of the Department of Sanitation? Thrill-crazed kid? Objet d'art? Circus in town?”.
Donald Barthelme
All right lad this is what we want with you. Your mission is this: to go out into the world and pull down all those election posters. Let's get all those ugly faces off our streets and out of our elective offices. We are not going to vote any more, no matter how often they come around with their sound trucks and statesmanlike gestures. Pull down the sound trucks. Pull down the outstretched arms. To hell with the whole business. Voting has turned out to be a damned impertinence. They never do what we want them to do anyhow. And when they do what we want them to do, they don't do it well. To hell with them. We are going to save up all our votes for the next twenty years and spend them all at one time. Maybe by that day there will be some Rabelaisian figure worth spending them on. ...
Donald Barthelme
When I was hired they showed me my desk, an old beat-up scarred wooden desk, and they told me that it had been O. Henry's desk when O. Henry worked for the paper, as he had at one time. And I readily believed it. I could see the place where O. Henry had savagely stabbed the desk with his pen in pursuit of a slimy adjective just out of reach, and a kind of bashed-in-looking place where O. Henry had beaten his poor genius head on the desk in frustration over not being able to capture the noun leaping like a fawn just out of reach... So I sat down at the desk and I too began to chase those devils, the dancy nouns and come-hither adjectives, what joy.
Donald Barthelme
We had a conversation the other day with Ming the Merciless, one of the preeminent villains of modern times, whose half-century-long struggle with his opposite number, Flash Gordon, has helped generations of Americans conceptualize the fearsome enchantments of space. We caught up with the veteran malefactor at the Volney, where he greeted us in a turquise-and-gold dressing gown, a black skullcap setting off his striking yellowish pallor. We immediately put our foot in it by addressing him as ”Mr. Ming”
"I don't want to be stuffy,” he said pleasantly, "but that's Emperor Ming, if you don't mind. ...”.
Donald Barthelme
My wife wants a dog. She already has a baby. The baby's almost two. My wife says that the baby wants the dog.
My wife has been wanting a dog for a long time. I have had to be the one to tell her that she couldn't have one. But now the baby wants a dog, my wife says. This may be true. The baby is very close to my wife. They go around together all the time, clutching each other tightly. I ask the baby, who is a girl, "Whose girl are you? Are you Daddy's girl?” The baby says, "Momma,” and she doesn't just say it once, she says it repeatedly, "Momma momma momma.”.
Donald Barthelme
The new thing, a great banality in white, off-white and poor-white, leaned up against the wall. "Interesting,” we said. "It's poor,” Snow White said. "Poor, poor.” "Yes,” Paul said,” one of my poorer things I think.” "Not so poor of course as yesterday's, poorer on the other hand than some,” she said. "Yes,” Paul said, "it has some of the qualities of poorness.” "Especially poor in the lower left-hand corner,” she said. "Yes,” Paul said, "I would go so far as to hurl it into the marketplace.” "They're getting poorer,” she said. "Poorer and poorer,” Paul said with satisfaction, "descending to unexplored depths of poorness where no human intelligence has ever been.”.
Donald Barthelme
The new thing, a great banality in white, off-white and poor-white, leaned up against the wall. "Interesting,” we said. "It's poor,” Snow White said. "Poor, poor.” "Yes,” Paul said,” one of my poorer things I think.” "Not so poor of course as yesterday's, poorer on the other hand than some,” she said. "Yes,” Paul said, "it has some of the qualities of poorness.” "Especially poor in the lower left-hand corner,” she said. "Yes,” Paul said, "I would go so far as to hurl it into the marketplace.” "They're getting poorer,” she said. "Poorer and poorer,” Paul said with satisfaction, "descending to unexplored depths of poorness where no human intelligence has ever been.” ... "Sublimely poor,” she murmured. "Wallpaper,” he said.
Donald Barthelme
![The Balloon" is a Donald Barthelme story. ... In a 1996 Salon interview, David [Foster Wallace] told Laura Miller it was "the first story I ever read that made me want to be a writer. (Donald Barthelme)](https://cdn.quotesdtb.com/img/quotes_images_webp/20/donald-barthelme-balloon-foster-971420.webp)
Donald Barthelme has accomplished the work that the New Journalists are not competent to do. In a single story he is able to include more of the taste of the times than there is in the collected works of Wolfe, Breslin, Talese & Co. The difference lies in Barthelme's ability to compress, almost to transistorize the world, and then make his miniatures real again by virtue of his talent for language.
Donald Barthelme
He was, according to students, an extraordinary teacher, rigorous, picky, not mean-but a teaser. Sometimes. "What did he really mean by that?" a student whispered to me once when I visited his class. "You can write anything you want but you may not mention the weather," he told his classes at City College in New York and at the University of Houston. The weather, the very geography of platitude. Still, he knew about those easy clichés. He knew their ancient usefulness and perseverance. He grabbed them, gave them a good half turn to laugh a social truth into a sentence-he was certainly a sentence maker.
Donald Barthelme
How come you write the way you do?” an apprentice writer in my Johns Hopkins workshop once disingenuously asked Donald Barthelme, who was visiting. Without missing a beat, Donald replied, "Because Samuel Beckett was already writing the way he does.”
Asked another, likewise disingenuosly, "How can we become better writers than we are?”
"For starters," DB advised, "read through the whole history of philosophy, from the pre-Socratics up through last semester. That might help.”
"But Coach Barth has already advised us to read all of literature, from Gilgamesh up through last semester....”
"That, too,” Donald affirmed, and turned on that shrewd Amish-farmer-from-West-Eleventh-Street twinkle of his. "You're probably wasting time on things like eating and sleeping. Cease that, and read all of philosophy and all of literature. Also art. Plus politics and a few other things. The history of everything.
Donald Barthelme