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Mark Twain quotes - page 10
Heaven for climate, hell for society.
Mark Twain
Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a congressman can.
Mark Twain
We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.
Mark Twain
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
Mark Twain
. . . there warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to but a hog is different.
Mark Twain
It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self-approval.
Mark Twain
Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
Mark Twain
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
Mark Twain
He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it- namely, in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
Mark Twain
If I cannot smoke cigars in Heaven, I shall not go.
Mark Twain
Old habits can't be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxeddown the stairs one step at a time.
Mark Twain
We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read.
Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Mark Twain
Weather is a literary specialty, and no untrained hand can turn out a good article on it.
Mark Twain
It is not worthwhile to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
Mark Twain
France has neither winter nor summer nor morals -- apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
Mark Twain
Tonight I appear for the first time before a Boston audience -- 4000 critics.
Mark Twain
A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.
Mark Twain
On his deathbed Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuse are for all -- the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.
Mark Twain
Herodotus says, "Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects."
Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
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